But if she’s a top quarterback in the NFL and you’re riding the pine in Pop Warner, forget it.
308 in Triple-A, that’s not an insurmountable gap. So, Marvin, the answer to your question depends on the answer to my question: How far out of your league is she? If she’s a pinch hitter in MLB and you’re batting. Ever share an apartment with a violinist who didn’t know when to quit? I have, and I used my other roommate’s didgeridoo to smash the violin to pieces. Not giving up is why we have Home Alone 6. Not giving up is why there are 200 frozen bodies near the top of Mount Everest. It’s like the inspirational phrase, “Never give up.” Oh fer crissake! Really? Never? Not giving up is why people get stalked. Is it worth 999 incidents of embarrassment? Is it worth the anguish that exponentially increases after every attempt, only to have a golden eagle with a Cadillac and a cleft chin swoop in and take her away? Not to mention, making incessant, reckless passes at women who are several points your superior appears desperate, and delusional, and will reduce you to a four in the eyes of the otherwise attainable sixes in your vicinity. But is it worth the accompanying 999 rejections? Sure, if a turkey vulture hit on a thousand swans he might “score” one eventually. The chance of your mediocre, five-ass hooking up with an eight-babe is about as likely as a flatulent turkey vulture hooking up with a swan. And by five, I don’t only mean looks, but also other traits attractive to women such as charisma, intelligence, and yes, income. I don’t know you, Marvin, but let’s say you’re a five and the barista of your desires is an eight. This is equally true in the realm of dating. The best advice, in sports as in life, is to take good shots, smart shots choose your battles.
Because, while it’s true that you won’t score if you don’t take a particular shot, you won’t win the game if you always take the shot. But if Chucker was on your team, you were probably going to lose. And sure, he scored a lot sometimes against unbelievable odds. Whether off balance, double-teamed or ridiculously out of range, dude was relentless. There was one guy we used to call “Chucker” because no matter the situation, he was aways launching shots. It reminds me of my youth, when the kids in my neighborhood played a lot of blacktop basketball. Wayne Gretzky may have been the best hockey player of all time, but he is the Frazier McLaren* of reason. Sometimes you might want to wait and get a better shot. Taking the shot is not always the smartest play. It suggests that – whether in the rink, or in life – one must take the shot to succeed. For one reason, you can’t “miss” a shot you don’t take because “missing” requires, duh, an attempted shot.
For the record, there is some debate over whether Gretzky coined that phrase. What do you think?ĭear Marvin, it depends on how far out of her league you are. This is a guy has no problem dating and is always reiterating the famous Wayne Gretzky quote, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” That may be true but in my heart, I know I have no chance. She’s beautiful, sweet and funny and everything I ever wanted in a girlfriend but she’s out of my league. Dear Ed, I have a thing for a woman who works at a nearby Starbucks.
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